Vampire Academy MSN
by bloodsucking vampire girl
Summary: When all the characters of Vampire Academy get MSN, chaos will break out!
1. A drunk Adrian

**AN: **

**Hi its Natalie!**

**I hope you enjoy the first chapter**

**Me and my friend Shivvy thought up this together!!!**

Russian-hottie- Dimitri  
Russian-hotties-hottie- Rose  
Liss-of-the-leash  
Smoke-on-alcohol- Adrian  
Fire-boy- Christian

Smoke-on-alcohol has signed on

Liss-of-the-leash has signed on

Smoke-on-alcohol- HIIIIII!!!!!!!!!

Liss-of-the-leash- Uh…Adrian…

Smoke-on-alcohol- YEAH LISSY BABY???

Liss-of-the-leash- Uhh…are you…um…drunk?

Smoke-on-alcohol- NAH!!!!!! I'M NO DUCKY!!!

Liss-of-the-leash- Uhh..I said are you drunk…

Smoke-on-alcohol- OH!!! Nah I only had three…

Liss-of-the-leash- Only three bottles? Wow that's like a record for you!

Smoke-on-alcohol- Well actually I never finished my sentence. I was going to say I had three cases…

Liss-of-the-leash- THREE CASES?!

Smoke-on-alcohol- YES! *giggles*

Liss-of-the-leash- How many were in them? About six right?

Smoke-on-alcohol- No Lissy-Wissy! I bought a jumbo pack! There was an extra two bottles in there! *giggles again*

Liss-of-the-leash- Oh god Adrian

Fire-boy has signed in

Fire-boy- Whats up?

Smoke-on-alcohol- Yo Bro, whats shakin?

Fire-boy- …

Smoke-on-alcohol- Can I call you Christian?

Fire-boy- Uh that's my name idiot…

Smoke-on-alcohol- Oh really? I thought your name was McGerald!

Fire-boy- Uh Adrian, what are you on?

Liss-of-the-leash- He just had three jumbo cases of alcohol

Fire-boy- WHAT?!

Smoke-on-alcohol- Ahahahaha! Christian your funny!!!

Russian-hotties-hottie has signed in

Russian-hotties-hottie- hey guys!

Russian-hotties-hottie- Ugh is Adrian alright?

Smoke-on-alcohol- ROSEY-POSEY!!!

Russian-hotties-hottie- WTF???

Liss-of-the-leash- Read the above text and you will understand Rose

Fire-boy- yup

Russian-hotties-hottie- Three jumbo cases…fuck

Liss-of-the-leash & Fire-boy- yup

Smoke-on-alcohol- OH GUYS I HAVE A POEM FOR ROSEY-POSEY!!!

Russian-hotties-hottie- Oh shit…

Smoke-on-alcohol- Rose will you stick your bum on my nose? Can I touch your toes? Will you be my hottie Rose?

Russian-hotties-hottie- Shut-up! I'm Dimitri's hottie! Read my username, dumb ass

Russian-hottie has logged on

Russian-hottie- Hello!!!

Russian-hottie- WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ROSE????

Smoke-on-alcohol- Rosey-posey is my little hottie dhampir!

Russian-hottie- NO SHE ISN'T! SHE'S MINE!!!

Smoke-on-alcohol- *giggles*

Fire-boy- *hides under covers* I think he's lost it…

Liss-of-the-leash- Yup…mind if I join you under those covers???

Smoke-on-alcohol- Rosey, I'll be coming to your bedroom soon!

Smoke-on-alcohol has signed out

Russian-hotties-hottie- WHAT???!

Russian-hottie- STAY AWAY FROM HER!!!

Russian-hotties-hottie- Hi guys, it's Adrian!

Russian-hotties-hottie- Get your own fucking computer Adrian!

Russian-hottie- You love me, don't ya?

Russian-hotties-hottie- Piss of!

Fire-boy- Oh god…

Liss-of-the-leash- yeah…

Russian-hottie- I'll save you Roza!

Russian-hottie has signed out

*Awkward silence*

Russian-hotties-hottie- I'm here Roza!

Russian-hotties-hottie- Yay! Dimitri!

Russian-hotties-hottie- etzdkrjjjjjjjjjjjjjtlugtaekydrdtyu

Fire-boy- What the hell???

Liss-of-the-leash- I think Dimitri's bashing Adrians head on the keyboard

Russian-hotties-hottie- ethdbeqHELPdfhzERMErearwyPLEASE!

Liss-of-the-leash- Now he's asking for help while Dimitri beats him up

Fire-boy- Think we should go help Adrian?

Liss-of-the-leash- Nah…

*Another awkward silence*

Russian-hotties-hottie- Ok well Dimitri shut him up!

_Russian-hottie has signed in_

Russian-hottie- yeah um I'm afraid he's…uh

Fire-boy-Come on spit it out

Liss-of-the-leesh- Yeah, I mean come on it can't be that bad

Russian-hottie- Erm…

Liss-of-the-leash- Dimitri…tell us

Fire-boy- Yeah or I'll set you on fire until you do!

Russian-hottie- OK FINE HE'S DEAD!

*Silence*

Everyone except for Adrian- Yay!


	2. Hiding under the covers

**AN:**

**Second chapter of the story!!!**

**I hope u like it!**

**Again, thanks to Shivvy for thinking up some awesome ideas for this chap!**

Dimitri- Russian-hottie

Rose- Russian-hotties-hottie

Lissa-Liss-of-the-leesh

Christian- Fire-boy

Smoke-on-alcohol- Adrian

_Smoke-on-alcohol has signed in_

_Russian-hotties-hottie has signed in_

_Russian-hottie has signed in_

Smoke-on-alcohol- Hy!

Russian-hotties-hottie- Hy? I thought it was spelt hi?

Russian-hotties-hottie- WAIT! Adrian aren't you supposed to be um I dunno...dead?

Smoke-on-alcohol- HAHAHAHA!!! *sucks toes*

Russian-hotties-hottie- Your scaring me...are you a ghost or something?

Russian-hottie- Hello Roza! Hi Adrian...

Smoke-on-alcohol- Whose Adrian?

Russian-hotties-hottie- Dimitri! Whats Adrian doing here??? Is he haunting us from beyond the grave?

Russian-hottie- Uh no...turns out he didn't die after all...

Russian-hotties-hottie- Oh...AWW!!!!

Smoke-on-alcohol- *Licks computer screen*

Russian-hotties-hottie- Erm are you drunk again Adrian?

Smoke-on-alcohol- BUMBLE BEE!!!

Russian-hotties-hottie- ...

Russian-hottie- He has brain damage. Thats why he's acting like the idiot he was born to be

Smoke-on-alcohol- DIMKA!

Russian-hottie- Call me that again, and I'll put you back into the coma you were in two minutes ago

_Fire-boy has signed in_

_Liss-of-the-leesh has signed in_

Fire-boy- Yo peoples!

Liss-of-the-leesh- Hey guys!

Russian-hotties-hottie- Where were you guys anyway?

Liss-of-the-leesh- Well ya know how me and Christian were hiding under the covers yesterday, after Adrian was acting like an idiot? Well we kinda stayed that way till now....haha

Russian-hottie & Russian-hotties-hottie- Eww...

Fire-boy- Speaking of Adrian, where are we gonna bury him anyway?

Smoke-on-alcohol- OMG! A DONUGHT!!!

Fire-boy- Is that who I think it is???

Liss-of-the-leesh- BUT YOUR DEAD!!! *hides under covers again*

Fire-boy- Must...not...hide...under...the...covers...with...the...gorgeous...goddess

Liss-of-the-leesh- Why?

Fire-boy- Dunno, I just felt like saying that

Russian-hottie- Turns out Adrian didn't die after all

Russian-hotties-hottie- Yeah, he just has massive brain damage

Fire-boy & Liss-of-the-leesh- AWW!

Russian-hotties-hottie- Thats exactly what I said!

Smoke-on-alcohol- I LIKE ANTS!

Fire-boy- You have a brain the size of an ant too...

Liss-of-the-leesh- A damaged brain the sie of an ant...

Fire-boy- Hey Lissa, are you still under those covers?

Liss-of-the-leesh- Yup! Wanna come join me???

Fire-boy- I thought you'd never ask

_Fire-boy has signed out_

Russian-hottie- Ok...

Russian-hotties-hottie- So...

Russian-hottie- Wanna come to my room?

Russian-hotties-hottie- Only if you hide under your covers like Liss did

Russian-hottie- I'll only hide under my covers if you join me under them

Russian-hotties-hottie- SURE!

_Russian-hotties-hottie has signed out_

_Russian-hottie has signed out_

Smoke-on-alcohol- I LIKE CHEESE!!!

_Smoke-on-alcohol has signed out_


	3. Dimitri's Birthday

Russian-hottie- Dimitri  
Russian-hotties-hottie- Rose  
Liss-of-the-leash  
Smoke-on-alcohol- Adrian  
Fire-boy- Christian

_Russian-hottie has signed in_

_Russian-hotties-hottie has signed in_

_Fire-boy has signed in_

Russian-hottie- Hello young students!

Russian-hotties-hottie- Young...student...? Does that mean you don't love me? *tear rolls down cheek*

Russian-hottie- ROZA! Of course not! I lurrrve you! *wipes tear away with lips*

Russian-hotties-hottie- I love you too Dimitri

Fire-boy- Ugh! If I knew you two were going to be like this, I wouldn't have come on

Russian-hotties-hottie- Oh go set yourself on fire you asshole

Fire-boy- I'll set you on fire if you don;t shut the hell up...

Russian-hottie- I'll stake you before you even touch my Roza...

*Silence*

Russian-hottie- So anyways did you guys know it was my birthday?

_Liss-of-the-leesh has signed in_

Liss-of-the-leesh- Hi guys!

Liss-of-the-leesh- OMG! Your birthday Dimitri? I had no idea. Lemme go throw something together for you. Brb!

Fire-boy- Oh...How old are you anyway? Fifty?

Russian-hotties-hottie- Shut the hell up fire ass

Russian-hottie- And if you don't, I'll make you...

Fire-boy- Wow Dimitri, you sure are crazy with threats today. Is this what you do every year on your birthday?

Russian-hottie- No last year I staked an innocent moroi child...Ooops did I say that out loud?

Russian-hotties-hottie- Ugh...yeah you did

Russian-hottie- CRAP!

Russian-hotties-hottie- Don't worry, we won't tell anyone! Will we Christian?

Fire-boy- Nah, I'm already on my way to tell Kirova

Russian-hottie- WHAT!

_Russian-hottie has signed out_

Fire-boy- Huh. Wonder if he knows I was joking. If I was on my way to tell Kirova, I wouldn't still be on here.

Russian-hotties-hottie- Whatever

_Liss-of-the-leesh has signed on_

Liss-of-the-leesh- Ok I've got the perfect gift for Dimitri!

Liss-of-the-leesh- Aww he signed out! *pouts*

_Russian-hottie has signed in_

Russian-hottie- Ok I'm back!

Russian-hottie- Really? You have a present for me Lissa?

Liss-of-the-leesh- Yup! I left it outside your bedroom window, because it was two big to fit in the room

Russian-hotties-hottie- Wow. Wonder what it is

Russian-hottie- Well I'm unwrapping it. Certainly is big...

Russian-hotties-hottie- What is it???

Russian-hottie- Erm..its uh nice Lissa *fakes enthusiasm*

Liss-of-the-leesh- I can tell your faking Dimitri! Why don't you like it? Why don't you like the sports car I gave you???

Russian-hotties-hottie- SPORTS CAR? YOU GOT HIM A FREAKING SPORTS CAR????

Liss-of-the-leesh- Yeah..but he obviously doesn't like it!

Russian-hottie- Um...I didn't say I didn't like it...

Russian-hotties-hottie- Maybe my present will cheer you up Dimitri. It's outside your door!

Russian-hottie- Ok lemme go see

Russian-hottie- OMG! It's exactly what I wanted!

Liss-of-the-leesh- What is it?

Liss-of-the-leesh- No wait, lemme guess, is it a private jet?

Russian-hottie- No...

Liss-of-the-leesh- Is is lost treasure that hasn't been seen in thousands of years?

Russian-hottie- No...

Liss-of-the-leesh- Is it a set of designer clothes?

Russian-hottie- No...

Liss-of-the-leesh- OMG I KNOW! ITS A FRENCH POODLE ISN'T IT???

Russian-hotties-hottie- Oh for crying out loud Lissa! No! It's a packet of condoms!

Liss-of-the-leesh- HAHAHAH!

Russian-hottie- Why is she laughing?

Russian-hotties-hottie- I have no idea...

Liss-of-the-leesh- Oh wait your serious

*Awkward silence*

Liss-of-the-leesh- So wheres Christian?

Russian-hotties-hottie- I dunno

Russian-hottie- Erm...he was going to tell Kirova about what I did on my last birthday...so I kinda...payed him a visit *shifts eyes nervously*

Russian-hotties-hottie & Liss-of-the-leesh- WHAT?!

Russian-hotties-hottie- OMG! Thats so cool Dimitri! You really are a Russian hottie!

Liss-of-the-leesh- Did you kill Christian?

Russian-hottie- Nah. I think he's still breathing...or at least he was when I last checked.

Liss-of-the-leesh- AHHH!

_Liss-of-the-leesh has signed out_

Russian-hottie- Wheres she going?

Russian-hotties-hottie- Probably going to have a panic attack somewhere...or to heal Christian

_Liss-of-the-leesh has signed on_

Liss-of-the-leesh- DIMITRI, YOU BETTER RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!

Fire-boy- Hi guys *gives Dimitri an evil stare*

Russian-hotties-hottie- Yup, she healed him alright

Russian-hottie- Erm Lissa, your a moroi. How do you expect to hurt me, the Russian God?

Liss-of-the-leesh- I dunno *pouts*

Russian-hottie- Well I want to use the awesome gift that Rose gave me. Who wants to help me finish them?

Fire-boy- OH I DO!

Russian-hotties-hottie- WHAT? GET YOUR OWN MAN CHRISTIAN!

Liss-of-the-leesh- Christian don't you love me??? And wait you aren't gay!

Fire-boy- Erm...what? I thought he wanted us to help finish his candy?

Liss-of-the-leesh- Candy? No, Rose gave him condoms

Fire-boy- Eww...

Russian-hotties-hottie- I'll help you Dimitri

_Russian-hotties-hottie has signed out_

_Russian-hottie has signed out_

Fire-boy- Those two are just sick

Liss-of-the-leesh- Aww your just jealous that I didn't get you a pack of condoms for your last birthday

Fire-boy- Nope. I got a years supply of them

Liss-of-the-leesh- Wow...Can I help you finish them?

Fire-boy- Sure! They're taking up way to much space in my closet

Liss-of-the-leesh- Cool! I'll meet you at your room!

_Liss-of-the-leesh has signed out_

_Fire-boy has signed out._


	4. Healing Miracles

Russian-hottie- Dimitri

Russian-hotties-hottie- Rose

Liss-of-the-leesh- Lissa

Fire-boy- Christian

Smoke-on-alcohol- Adrian

_Russian-hotties-hottie has signed in_

_Smoke-on-alcohol has signed on_

Smoke-on-alcohol- Hey guys!

Russian-hotties-hottie- Uh...Adrian...

Smoke-on-alcohol- What???

Russian-hotties-hottie- Well um I dunno if its just me, but for someone with brain damage you seem pretty smart

Smoke-on-alcohol- I don't have brain damage anymore

Russian-hotties-hottie- How the hell did you heal so fast???

Smoke-on-alcohol- Uh...its a miracle

Russian-hotties-hottie- What? That makes no sense. Miracles don't happen around Adrian Ivashkov. They're afraid of you!

Smoke-on-alcohol- Miracles do happen to me! That's how I got healed from my brain damage!

_Liss-of-the-leesh has signed in_

Russian-hotties-hottie- Nah! I know what happened! Lissa healed you!!!!!!

Liss-of-the-leesh- *Reads the above text* Uh-oh....

Russian-hotties-hottie- Liss...did you by any chance have anything to do with Adrians *miracle* recovery?

Liss-of-the-leesh- Uh...no...

Smoke-on-alcohol- Yeah you did

Liss-of-the-leesh- Shut the hell up Adrian! I shouldn't have healed you in the first place!

Smoke-on-alcohol- You just admitted it Lissa...

Liss-of-the-leesh- SHIT!

Russian-hotties-hottie- I'M SO DISAPOINTED IN YOU VASILISA!!!!

Liss-of-the-leesh- Stop calling my that!

Russian-hotties-hottie- NO! HOW COULD U USE YOUR POWER???

Liss-of-the-leesh- Sorry Rose!

Russian-hotties-hottie- NO I WILL NOT ACCEPT THAT STUPID APOLOGY OF YOURS!

Liss-of-the-leesh- Rose! I felt sorry for him! Stop screaming!

Russian-hotties-hottie- I'm not screaming...oh sorry I left the caps lock on. Haha

Liss-of-the-leesh- Oh...

Smoke-on-alcohol- HAHAHAH!

Russian-hotties-hottie- What the hell Adrian?

Smoke-on-alcohol- Sorry I just remembered this awesome joke about a guy named Bob and he ate a tone of cheese and he couldn't walk after that because he was so fat...hahahah! Good times *wipes tears of laughter away*

Liss-of-the-leesh- Uh...

Russian-hotties-hottie- Funny...

*Awkward silence*

_Fire-boy has signed in_

Fire-boy- Yo dudies!

Liss-of-the-leesh- Christian!!! *leans in for a kiss*

Fire-boy- Uh Lissa...how can you kiss me if I'm in a completely different room from you?

Liss-of-the-leesh- Oh yeah...

Russian-hotties-hottie- So have you seen Dimitri anywhere? He's usually always on

Smoke-on-alcohol- I think he's making out with Tasha somewhere

Russian-hotties-hottie- WHAT???!!!!!!!!!!

Smoke-on-alcohol- Just joking

Russian-hotties-hottie- Asshole

Fire-boy- So where _is_ the Russian guardian loser? Seriously?

_Russian-hottie has signed in_

Russian-hottie- I'm right here!

Smoke-on-alcohol- Wow...it reminds me of that fairytale about the dude who came whenever his name was called...AHH I LOVED THAT STORY!!!

Russian-hotties-hottie- Obviously Lissa didn't heal him completely...

Russian-hottie- Nah this is just the way he was before...he was born an idiot

Fire-boy- I agree

Fire-boy- Wait, when did Lissa heal Adrian???

Russian-hotties-hottie- Uh can't be bothered to explain it all again. Read the conversation above and you will understand

Fire-boy- Oh nah I can't...I gotta go...the church attic is calling me

Liss-of-the-leesh- And don't forget me! Oh and Christian, did you remember to light the candles, and spread the blankets on the floor?

Fire-boy- Yup!

_Fire-boy has signed out_

_Liss-of-the-leesh has signed out_

Russian-hottie- _Please_ tell me they aren't going to do what I think they are

Russian-hotties-hottie- They are

Smoke-on-alcohol- IN A _CHURCH???_

Russian-hottie- Well techincally its a church attic

Smoke-on-alcohol- Still disgusting...I mean what if someone happens to stumble across the attic while...eww

Russian-hotties-hottie- Well at least you aren't the one who has to witness it from Lissa's mind...

Russian-hottie- WHAT???

Russian-hotties-hottie- Well don't blame me, blame the bond! Whatever I gotta go! Seeya

_Russian-hotties-hottie has signed out_

Smoke-on-alcohol- My cigarettes are calling me. Bye

_Smoke-on-alcohol has signed out_

Russian-hottie- If I were Rose I'd be traumatized...oh wait everyone's gone. Bye!

_Russian-hottie has signed out_


	5. Bury the Evidence

Russian-hottie- Dimitri

Russian-hotties-hottie- Rose

Bury-the-evidence- Christian

Liss-of-the-leesh- Lissa

Smoke-on-alcohol- Adrian

_Russian-hottie has signed in_

_Russian-hotties-hottie has signed in_

_Liss-of-the-leesh has signed in_

Russian-hotties-hottie- Hi!

Liss-of-the-leesh- Hi Rose!

Russian-hotties-hottie- LISSA! Good to see you!!!

Liss-of-the-leesh- ROSE!!!

Russian-hottie- Ahh my beautiful Roza!!!

Russian-hotties-hottie- DIMITRI!

Liss-of-the-leesh- Hey what about me???

Russian-hotties-hottie- Oh hello Lissa

_Bury-the-evidence has signed in_

Bury-the-evidence- Yo!

Russian-hotties-hottie- Who the hell are you???

Liss-of-the-leesh- Its Christian

Russian-hottie- What in the world is up with your screen name?

Bury-the-evidence- Well I kinda burnt Ralf to death so I had to bury the evidence. This screen name seemed appropriate for the situation I am in.

Russian-hottie- Was that supposed to be a secret Christian?

Bury-the-evidence- Yeah, why?

Russian-hottie- You just announced it over the internet, where anyone can see it

Bury-the-evidence- SHIT!

Russian-hotties-hottie- Where did you bury Ralf's body anyway?

Bury-the-evidence- In Dimitri's butt…

Russian-hottie- WHAT???

Russian-hotties-hottie- CHRISTIAN YOU LOSER, DON'T TOUCH DIMITRI!

Liss-of-the-leesh- OMG! Sooo hot Christian –I mean I am so disappointed in you!!!

Bury-the-evidence- I'm just joking you know. I buried it in Roses butt

Russian-hotties-hottie- Ahh much better…WHAT??!

Bury-the-evidence- HAHAHAHA

Russian-hottie- I will strangle you if you don't get that dead body away from Rose…

Bury-the-evidence- I'll take that threat seriously since you bashed my up last time

Russian-hottie- You'd better

Russian-hotties-hottie- Christian…your not serious are you?

Liss-of-the-leesh- Of course he isn't…right?

*Awkward silence*

_Smoke-on-alcohol has signed in_

Smoke-on-alcohol- Hi guys

Everyone- Bye Adrian

Smoke-on-alcohol- Uh wait I'm not leaving…why did you say bye?

Russian-hotties-hottie- We're not leaving, but you are

Smoke-on-alcohol- Why?

Russian-hottie- Cause your annoying

Smoke-on-alcohol- Your funny!

Bury-the-evidence- Goodbye Adrian

Smoke-on-alcohol- HAHAHAHA!!!

Liss-of-the-leesh- Ok…we'll be leaving now…

Smoke-on-alcohol- ROFL!

_Liss-of-the-leesh has signed out_

_Bury-the-evidence has signed out_

_Russian-hottie has signed out_

_Russian-hotties-hottie has signed out_

Smoke-on-alcohol- Oh they were serious after all…DAMN!

_Smoke-on-alcohol has signed out_


	6. I'm not Christian

Russian-hottie- Rose

Russian-hotties-hottie- Dimitri

Hot-blonde- Lissa

Im-not-Christian- Christian

Smoke-on-alcohol- Adrian

_Russian-hotties-hottie has signed in_

_Im-not-Christian has signed in_

Russian-hotties-hottie- Hi!

Im-not-Christian- Hi Rose!

Russian-hotties-hottie- Who the hell are you?

Im-not-Christian- I'm Christian! Duh

Russian-hotties-hottie- No ur not

Im-not-Christian- Yes I am

Russian-hotties-hottie- Then why does your screen name say 'Im-not-Christian?'

Im-not-Christian- Oh no, you've got it all wrong Rose. My name is Christian. Its just tat, I'm not Christian

Russian-hotties-hottie- So you are Christian…but you aren't Christian?

Im-not-Christian- YES!

Russian-hotties-hottie- That doesn't make any sense!

Im-not-Christian- Yes it does! I'm Christian but I'm not Christian!

_Russian-hottie has signed in_

Russian-hottie- Hello!

Russian-hotties-hottie- HOW CAN U BE CHRISTIAN BUT NOT CHRISTIAN?

Im-not-Christian- Cause I am!

Russian-hottie- WTF???

Russian-hotties-hottie- But that's not possible! U can't be Christian but not be Christian!

Im-not-Christian- Why not? Why can't I be Christian, but not be Christian?

Russian-hottie- I repeat…WTF???

Russian-hotties-hottie- Because u can't be him, but not be him!

Im-not-Christian- Ahh I see what ur getting wrong Rose. I am Christian, but not Christian. Do you understand now Rose?

Russian-hotties-hottie- NO!

_Smoke-on-alcohol has signed in_

Smoke-on-alcohol- Hi guys!

Im-not-Christian- ROSE! Pay attention already! What I mean is my name is Christian but I am not Christian.

Smoke-on-alcohol- Oh I get it!

Russian-hotties-hottie- U do???

Russian-hottie- Then tell us!

Smoke-on-alcohol- Figure out yourself

_Hot-blonde has signed in_

Hot-blonde- Hi guys! Like my new screen name?

Im-not-Christian- Hi Lissy! U understand my screen name, don't you babe?

Hot-blonde- Of course! Ur Christian but u aren't Christian

Russian-hottie- THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE!!!

Hot-blonde, Smoke-on-alcohol & Im-not-Christian- Yeah it does

Russian-hotties-hottie & Russian-hottie- WELL TELL US THEN!

Hot-blonde- Fine no need to scream. It simply means that his name is Christian but he isn't Christian

Russian-hotties-hottie- That's what he's been telling me for the past hour, but it doesn't make any damn sense!

Hot-blonde- Yes it does! He isn't Christian!

Russian-hottie- AHHH!!! IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD! EVERYONE HAS LOST IT! FIND COVER!!!

Smoke-on-alcohol- Shut-up Dimitri. What Christian means is that his name is Christian but he is not a Christian. As in the religion

Russian-hotties-hottie- Oh…

Russian-hottie- Its not the end of the world?

Russian-hotties-hottie- My…

Russian-hottie- Everyone has not lost it?

Russian-hotties-hottie- God…

Russian-hottie- We don't need to find over?

Russian-hotties-hottie- I CAN'T BELIEVE WE WENT THROUGH ALL THAT FOR NO REASON!!!!

Smoke-on-alcohol- Rose…

Im-not-Christian- Calm down…

Russian-hotties-hottie- DON'T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN. U COULD HAVE TOLD ME THAT U MEANT THAT FROM THE BEGINNING! ALL THIS TIME WATED FOR NOTHING!!!!!!!!!

Hot-blonde- Calm, Rose, calm…

Russian-hotties-hottie- AHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

Russian-hottie- Rose…has…lost…it….IT IS THE END OF THE WORLD!!!!! AHHHH!!!!

_Dimitri has been disconnected_

Im-not-Christian- Well that was…weird

Hot-blonde- Tell me about it

Smoke-on-alcohol- Yeah

Russian-hotties-hottie- AHHHH!!!!

_Rose has been disconnected_

Im-not-Christian- Wonder who disconnected them

Smoke-on-alcohol- Yeah…

Hot-blonde- Yeah I wanna know too

The-big-shot- Oh I did. They were starting to piss me of with all that screaming

Everyone- WHO THE HELL R U????

The-big-shot- No need to shout! OR I'll disconnect u to!

Smoke-on-alcohol- Well who r u?

The-big-shot- Headmistress Kirova

*silence*

Im-not-Christian- Headmistress Kirova goes on MSN?


	7. Edward Cullen comes to play

Russian-hottie- Dimitri

Russian-hotties-hottie- Rose

Hot-blonde- Lissa

Im-not-Christian- Christian

Smoke-on-alcohol- Adrian

Badass-awesome-dude- Mason

_Badass-awesome-dude has signed in_

_Russian-hotties-hottie has signed in_

Badass-awesome dude- Hey!

Russian-hotties-hottie- Before we begin this conversation, who the hell r u?

Badass-awesome-dude- Mason! Remember Rose? I told you I was going to get an account on here. I wanna catch up on the latest juicy gossip!

Russian-hotties-hottie- Uh yeah you did...but I didn't know that u would pick a screen name that gay!

Badass-awesome-dude- Hey, its not gay! Ur username is gay! I mean, u aren't even a hottie!

Russian-hotties-hottie- What's that supposed to mean??? U used to have a crush on me, u loser!

Badass-awesome-dude- That's before I mean Alberta *sighs dreamily*

Russian-hotties-hottie- U HAVE A CRUSH ON GUARDIAN ALBERTA???

Badass-awesome-dude- Yeah *sighs dreamily again*

Russian-hotties-hottie- Eww...

_Hot-blonde has signed in_

_Smoke-on-alcohol has signed in_

_Sparkly-hot-bloodsucker has signed in_

Hot-blonde- Hi Rose! Hi...Badass-awesome-dude?

Badass-awesome-dude- Mason. It's Mason

Hot-blonde- Oh I Mason...what's with the gay screen name?

Russian-hotties-hottie- SEE! I told you!!!

Smoke-on-alcohol- Yo dudes!

_Russian-hottie has signed in_

_Im-not-Christian has signed in_

Russian-hottie- Hi guys!

Im-not-Christian- Yo dudes!

Smoke-on-alcohol- U stole my lines Christian!

Im-not-Christian- Shut the hell up Ivashkov!

Sparkly-hot-bloodsucker- Greetings!

Everyone- Who the fuck r u???

Sparkly-hot-bloodsucker- Only the hottest guy on the face of the earth!

Im-not-Christian- Hey I thought that was me!

Badass-awesome-dude- No it's me!

Smoke-on-alcohol- No way! It's totally me!

Russian-hotties-hottie- DIMITRI! IT'S TOTALLY DIMITRI!

Russian-hottie- I agree with Roza

Sparkly-hot-bloodsucker- Shut up you morons, it's me

Im-not-Christian- We'll shut-up when u tell us who u r

Sparkly-hot-bloodsucker- First tell me who you r

Im-not-Christian- Im Christian

Sparkly-hot-bloodsucker- No u aren't. Ur username says ur not Christian

Everyone- NOT THIS AGAIN!!!

Hot-blonde- U weren't even there when it happened Mason. Why did u join in with everyone?

Badass-awesome-dude- When what happened?

Hot-blonde- When Rose and Dimitri went mad because of Christians screen name

Badass-awesome-dude- Aww I miss all the good stuff

Smoke-on-alcohol- So really, who r u???

Sparkly-hot-bloodsucker- I'm Edward Cullen!

Everyone- WHAT???

Sparkly-hot-bloodsucker- No need to shout! Ur damaging my awesome, supernatural sense of hearing!

Russian-hottie- But Edward Cullen doesn't exist!

Sparkly-hot-bloodsucker- Yes he does!

Smoke-on-alcohol- OMG! Can I have ur autograph Mr. Cullen? I'm such a big fan!!! I have every twilight book, the movie, all the posters, all the shirts and I'm wearing g-strings with ur face on them!!!

Sparkly-hot-bloodsucker- Ok I did not want to know that

Russian-hottie- U think any of us wanted to?

Badass-awesome-dude- Yeah we have to put up with this ass everyday

Im-not-Christian- Shut-up Mason, u only came on today. We had to put up with him for way more than u did!

Badass-awesome-dude- Nu-uh

Im-not-Christian- Yeah-huh

Badass-awesome-dude- Nu-uh

Im-not-Christian- Yeah-huh

Everyone except for Christian and Mason- SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!!!!!!

Sparkly-hot-bloodsucker- RENESMEE WHAT R U DOING ON MY ACCOUNT???

Russian-hotties-hottie- WTF?

Sparkly-hot-bloodsucker- I'm sorry daddy!

Hot-blonde- Daddy???

Sparkly-hot-bloodsucker- THAT IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH YOUNG LADY!!!

Im-not-Christian- What the hell is going on???

Sparkly-hot-bloodsucker- Daddy I'm sorry!!! *cries*

Russian-hottie- Whose Renesmee?

Smoke-on-alcohol- U DON'T KNOW WHO RENESMEE CULLEN IS??? *faints*

Sparkly-hot-bloodsucker- U HAVE FIVE SECONDS TO RUN RENESMEE!!!

Badass-awesome-dude- Am I the only one who is seriously confused here???

Hot-blonde- I think Renesmee Cullen, hacked into her father, Edward Cullen's account

Badass-awesome-dude- Edwards a father??! Isn't he like...eight???

Smoke-on-alcohol- *wakes up* Hi guys...AHHH! U DON'T KNOW HOW OLD EDWARD CULLEN IS??? *faints again*

Sparkly-hot-bloodsucker- I'm running! I'm running!

Im-not-Christian- How can u be running if ur typing n the computer???

Sparkly-hot-bloodsucker- Shut the fuck up, you stupid asshole. I'll stab you if u don't shut the crap hole of urs I swear. U damn, fucking...

Sparkly-hot-bloodsucker- RENESMEE WATCH UR LANGUAGE U FUCKING BITCH!!! I'LL SNAP THAT DAMN NEKC OF URS, I SWEAR I WILL U STUPID, HYBRID, FREAKING, BASTARD!!!

Hot-bloodsucker- Wow...now I know where Renesmee learns all of that swearing from

Sparkly-hot-bloodsucker- Nah, she learns a lot of it from Esme...NOW GET RUNNING NESSIE!!!

_Sparkly-hot-bloodsucker has signed out_

Russian-hotties-hottie- Well that was odd...

Russian-hottie- More than odd...

Russian-hotties-hottie- I'm leaving. All that shouting has given me a headache. Ta-ta!!!

_Russian-hotties-hottie has signed out_

Russian-hottie- I'll kiss it better Roza!

_Russian-hottie has signed out_

Im-not-Christian- Does anyone wanna play hide-and-seek with me???

Badass-awesome-dude- I do!!!

_Im-not-Christian has signed out_

_Badass-awesome-dude has signed out_

Hot-blonde- Don't forget me!!!

_Hot-blonde has signed out_

Smoke-on-alcohol- *wakes up* Ok I'm back...*reads above text* OMG! ESME SWEARS??? *faints again*

**AN:**

**Ok well hope u enjoyed that chapter**

**If you have any ideas for chapters that u think would be cool feel free to tell me!!!**

**Also thanks for all the reviews!!!**


	8. Lissa's secret admirer

Russian-hotties-hottie- Dimitri

Russian-hottie- Rose

Im-not-Christian- Christian

Hot-blonde- Lissa

Smoke-on-alcohol- Adrian

Badass-awesome-dude- Mason

_Russian-hottie has signed in_

_Russian-hotties-hottie has signed in_

_Badass-awesome-dude has signed in_

Russian-hottie- Hello everybody who is currently logged on in this site we know as MSN

Russian-hotties-hottie- Whats up with the speech Dimitri?

Russian-hottie- I dunno. I thought it sounded hot. Don't you think it sounded hot Roza?

Russian-hotties-hottie- Um…actually…yeah. Everything u say is hot Dimitri!

Russian-hottie- Thankyou my beautiful Roza

Badass-awesome-dude- Ick! You guys are giving me the creeps!

Russian-hotties-hottie- Ahh! Mason is becoming the new Adrian!

_Smoke-on-alcohol has signed in_

Smoke-on-alcohol- Hey, I heard that!

Russian-hottie- Heard what?

Smoke-on-alcohol- You said that Mason was becoming the new me. He's not nearly as hot as I am!

Badass-awesome-dude- Shut-up! I am so much hotter than u Ivashkov!

_Hot-blonde has signed in_

_Im-not-Christian has signed in_

Im-not-Christian- DAMN NOTE!!!

Badass-awesome-dude- WTF?

Smoke-on-alcohol- I agree with Mason. WTF?

Hot-blonde- A note turned up in my locker from a so called 'secret admirer.' Christians pissed of about that. Come to think of it, so am I.

Im-not-Christian- If I find out its anyone on this site I'll burn them alive!!!

Russian-hotties-hottie- Well u don't have to worry about it being Dimitri. He'd never cheat on me.

Badass-awesome-dude- *cries*

Hot-blonde- Whats up with u Mason?

Badass-awesome-dude- *cries* I confronted Alberta about the whole fact that I have a crush on her today, and…*cries*

Smoke-on-alcohol- And what?

Badass-awesome-dude- AND SHE TURNED ME DOWN!!! *cries, cries and cries*

Russian-hottie- Well what did you expect? She's a teacher! Teachers aren't supposed to love students!

Im-not-Christian- Says Dimitri Belikov, boyfriend of Rose Hathaway, his seventeen year old student.

Russian-hottie- Shut up Christian

Hot-blonde- Guys, I'm freaking out about this note. It's really creepy.

Badass-awesome-dude- Tell us what it says!

Hot-blonde- Ok. Well it says: Dear Lissa. You are so cute with all that cute hair and cute…other stuff. I think ur cute. We'd be so cute together. Do u think I'm cute? Wait u don't know who I am. But I am cute. Ur…cute. Dump the strigoi wannabe and we can be together. Cute. Yeah totally. From your secret admirer…CUTE!!!

Russian-hottie- What was up with that dude and the word cute?

Russian-hotties-hottie- Yeah, he sure sucks at writing love notes.

Smoke-on-alcohol- OMG!

Im-not-Christian- What?

Smoke-on-alcohol- What do you mean what?

Im-not-Christian- Why did you say, OMG?

Smoke-on-alcohol- I didn't say OMG! *reads above text* Oh yeah I did…short term memory loss. Sorry.

Russian-hotties-hottie- So why did u say it?

Smoke-on-alcohol- Cause I worked out who the note was from!

Russian-hotties-hottie- Really? Who?

Smoke-on-alcohol- It's from you! You wrote it Rose! I always knew u had a thing for Lissa

Russian-hottie- NO! ROSE IS MINE! DON'T TOUCH HER LISSA!!!

_Russian-hottie has signed out_

Russian-hotties-hottie- Great, now u made Dimitri upset. I better go calm him down.

_Russian-hotties-hottie has signed out_

Smoke-on-alcohol- So its not Rose?

Hot-blonde- NO!

Im-not-Christian- ABSOLUTLEY NOT!

Badass-awesome-dude- ADRIAN U ARE JUST SICK!

Smoke-on-alcohol- CAPSLOCK!

Hot-blonde- What the hell?

Smoke-on-alcohol- Well u all said something with capslock on, so I decided to write something too. Only I couldn't think what, so I wrote capslock.

Im-not-Christian- So I'm gonna go and investigate the case of the secret admirer. If I find the culprit then I'll burn them to death. Is it either of u two?

Smoke-on-alcohol- Nope, I have Rose.

_Russian-hotties-hottie has signed in_

Russian-hotties-hottie- Nope you don't have me Adrian

_Russian-hotties-hottie has signed out_

Badass-awesome-dude- I already have my gorgeous Alberta. Why would I need anyone else?

Smoke-on-alcohol- And u called me sick, Mason! *shudders*

Im-not-Christian- Err ok…bye then.

_Im-not-Christian has signed out_

Badass-awesome-dude- ALBERTA!!! *cries*

Hot-blonde- Erm…I'm gonna go…

_Hot-blonde has signed out_

Smoke-on-alcohol- Good going Mason, you scared Lissa away

Badass-awesome-dude- No you did!

Smoke-on-alcohol- Nuh-uh!

Badass-awesome-dude- Yeah-huh

Smoke-on-alcohol- Nuh-uh

Badass-awesome-dude- Yeah-huh

Smoke-on-alcohol- EITHER U LEAVE THIS CHATSITE OR I WILL U STUPID NOVICE GUY!!!

Badass-awesome-dude- Ok, bye Adrian

Smoke-on-alcohol- GOOD-BYE!

_Smoke-on-alcohol has signed out_

Badass-awesome-dude- Idiot

_Badass-awesome-dude has signed out_

**AN:**

**Hope you enjoyed the story! Want to find out who the secret admirer is? Find out in the next chapter!**


	9. Meeting the Admirer

Russian-hottie- Dimitri

Russian-hotties-hottie- Rose

Hot-blonde- Lissa

Im-not-Christian- Christian

Smoke-on-alcohol- Adrian

Badass-awesome-dude- Mason

_Hot-blonde has signed in_

_I-heart-Lissa has signed in_

Hot-blonde- Hi!

Hot-blonde- I said hi!

Hot-blonde- Is anyone here???

Hot-blonde- Hi Lissa!

Hot-blonde- Yo Liss!

Hot-blonde- Great now I'm talking to myself!!!

I-heart-Lissa- Yo sexy!

Hot-blonde- Oh hi Christian

I-heart-Lissa- Erm...I'm not Christian...

Hot-blonde- Really? Well who the hell else loves me???

I-heart-Lissa- Ur admirer...

_Im-not-Christian has signed in_

Im-not-Christian- Hi Lissa! I saw that you were signed in, and I just had to come on!

Im-not-Christian- *reads above text* THE ADMIRER!!! who the hell r u anyway? I'll kill you when I find out!!!

I-heart-Lissa- Why would I tell u, if u were going to kill me?

Im-not-Christian- good point...

Hot-blonde- Can u please stop stalking me???

I-heart-Lissa- But I love you!

Hot-blonde- But I don't love you!

Im-not-Christian- EXACTLY!

I-heart-Lissa- I'll give u a clue on who I am, if u both tell me something

Im-not-Christian- fine

Hot-blonde- Whatever

I-heart-Lissa- Awesome! Christian, what was ur most embarrassing moment?

Im-not-Christian- Probably when I made out that time with this thing because I thought it was Lissa, and it turned out to be a pole...oops did I say that out loud??? *blushes*

I-heart-Lissa- ROFL! God Christian, can u be any dumber?

Hot-blonde- You thought the pole was me? Really Christian, am I that anorexic?

Im-not-Christian- Nope you aren't Lissa...but even if u were, I'd still love u!

Hot-blonde- *blushes*

I-heart-Lissa- Ok ur turn, sexy!

Hot-blonde- Don't call me that!

Im-not-Christian- Don't call her that!

I-heart-Lissa- Whatever. So Lissa, how many times have u made out with Christian

Im-not-Christian- DONT ANSWER THAT!!!

Hot-blonde- Uh maybe one or two...

I-heart-Lissa- Well that's not so bad. I thought it would be much, much more with the way Rose is always complaining about u two

Hot-blonde- ...hundred times

I-heart-Lissa- JESUS CHRIST!!!

Im-not-Christian- So have u decided to back of then?

I-heart-Lissa- Nope, I'm just extremely jealous now

Im-not-Christian- muhahahahahah!!!

Hot-blonde- So now will u tell us who u r???

I-heart-Lissa- Um not so fast, I didn't say I would tell u who I was. I said I would give u a clue

Im-not-Christian- So then give us a damn clue!

I-heart-Lissa- I'm a teacher

Im-not-Christian- I knew it! It is Dimitri Retard Belikov!

I-heart-Lissa- Uh no its not

Im-not-Christian- The stupid, cheating, ugly, wrinkly bag of crap!

I-heart-Lissa- Its not Dimitri!

Im-not-Christian- the lying, retarded, crappy...

I-heart-Lissa- I told you its not...

Im-not-Christian- ...shitty, damn, ass-licking, good for nothing guardian!

I-heart-Lissa- OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD ITS NOT DIMITRI!!!

Hot-blonde- Ouch your hurting my ears with all that screaming!

I-heart-Lissa- I'm typing, not screaming

Hot-blonde- Whatever! And Christian, don't swear honey!

Im-not-Christian- I'll stop if u call me honey again

Hot-blonde- Don't be greedy!

I-heart-Lissa- Do you want to know who I am then?

Im-not-Christian & Hot-blonde- YES!!!

I-heart-Lissa- I'm Stan

*awkward silence*

Im-not-Christian- STAN ALTO??? GUARDIAN ALTO???

I-heart-Lissa- Yup that's the one

Hot-blonde- I think I'm going to be sick!

_Hot-blonde has signed out_

Im-not-Christian- STAN I'LL KILL U!!!!!!

_Im-not-Christian has signed out_

I-heart-Lissa- Good luck with that then...

I-heart-Lissa- Well I gotta go. I have to pick up the engagement ring I bought for Lissa. Ta-ta!

_I-heart-Lissa has signed out_

_Hot-blonde has signed in_

Hot-blonde- *reads above text* ENGAGMENT RING??? GROSS!!! *faints*

_Hot-blonde has signed out_


	10. Stalker Stan

Russian-hotties-hottie- Rose

Russian-hottie- Dimitri

Hot-blonde- Lissa

Im-not-Christian- Christian

Smoke-on-alcohol- Adrian

I-heart-Lissa- Stan

_Russian-hottie has signed in_

_Russian-hotties-hottie has signed in_

_Im-not-Christian has signed in_

Im-not-Christian- Guess what I spent my entire life savings for today???

Russian-hottie- The stupid strigoi wannabe cant even bother to start of a conversation saying hello...WHAT IS IT?

Im-not-Christian- Wow Dimitri you sound pissed...maybe I'll use my new cool item on you after I'm done with it...

Russian-hotties-hottie- Hey my sweet Dimitri...hi you sicko strigoi wannabe dude

Im-not-Christian- Rose you will be third on my list, after Dimitri

Russian-hottie- Whose first?

Im-not-Christian- Stan...

Russian-hotties-hottie- What did Stan do? And wait what did you buy anyway?

Im-not-Christian- STAN IS THE ADMIRER!!! Oh and I bought a new stake, that is guaranteed to kill whoever you want with only one try!

Russian-hotties-hottie & Russian-hottie- WHAT?!

Im-not-Christian- Yeah I know, I could hardly believe it when I found out

Russian-hottie- Believe what? Sorry Rose and I got distracted because a gunman came into our room and said that he would kill us if we didn't give him all our cheese....that was the reason why we both screamed WHAT?!

Im-not-Christian- Why would a gunman ask for cheese?

Russian-hottie- Dont ask me!

Russian-hotties-hottie- STAN IS THE ADMIRER???

Russian-hottie- WHAT?!

Im-not-Christian- Is the gunman back???

Russian-hottie- No! But Stan is the admirer...and I ran out of cheese! *cries*

_Hot-blonde has signed in_

_I-love-Lissa has signed in_

Hot-blonde- Guys I'm scared...Stan is stalking me!!!

I-love-Lissa- Hello my beautiful princess!

Hot-blonde- AHHH!!!

Im-not-Christian- I'LL KILL YOU, YOU DAMN STALKER!!!

Russian-hotties-hottie- I'LL HELP HIM KILL YOU!!!

_Smoke-on-alcohol has signed in_

Smoke-on-alcohol- *reads above text* AND I'LL HELP HER...AND HIM KILL U!!!

Russian-hottie- MY CHEESE! *cries*

I-heart-Lissa- BELIKOV! what the hell is up with u?

Im-not-Christian- A gunman stole all his cheese

I-heart-Lissa- Oh yeah that was me

Hot-blonde- U have a gun?

I-heart-Lissa- Yeah to kill Christian, so that u will be mine

*awkward silence*

Im-not-Christian- Erm...I'm...going....to...BYE!

_Im-not-Christian has signed out_

I-heart-Lissa- Hmm wonder what got into him…AHHH!!!!

*The sound of a chainsaw fills the entire area*

Hot-blonde- WTF?

Russian-hotties-hottie- WTF?

Russian-hottie- WTF?

Smoke-on-alcohol- WTF WTF?

Russian-hottie- A bit too many Adrian…we don't need anymore swear words than necessary.

_Im-not-Christian has signed in_

Im-not-Christian- Ok I killed him…I MEAN…I…erm…uh…went to….buy some more cheese for Dimitri!

Russian-hottie- REALLY?!

Russian-hotties-hottie- Don't lie Christian, we heard the chainsaw

Hot-blonde- Yeah you killed Stan didn't you? …MY HERO!

Russian-hottie- Aww u mean he didn't really get me more cheese? *cries*

Hot-blonde- Yay no more stalker

Russian-hottie- *cries*

Smoke-on-alcohol- Oh good Lissa is safe from Stan

Russian-hottie- *cries*

Im-not-Christian- Told you I was awesome

Russian-hottie- *cries*

Russian-hotties-hottie- Lissa is no longer the victim of the stalker…

Russian-hottie- *CRIES!*

_Russian-hottie has signed out_

Russian-hotties-hottie- What's wrong with him?

Smoke-on-alcohol- Dunno…wanna go see if he's alright?

Russian-hotties-hottie- That's extremely generous of u Adrian…

Im-not-Christian- Bet he's plotting something

Smoke-on-alcohol- Am not!

Hot-blonde- Lets go check on Dimitri then!

_Hot-blonde has signed out_

_Russian-hotties-hottie has signed out_

_Im-not-Christian has signed out_

_Smoke-on-alcohol has signed out_

*While this is going on Dimitri is having a mental breakdown in his room. He is screaming and yelling, and thrashing around on the floor. The lack of cheese is driving him mad. Rose, Adrian, Christian and Lissa all go into the room and stop when they see Dimitri. Slowly, they all back away before running out of the room. Dimitri starts to scream out one word: CHEESE!*


	11. Addicted to Cheese

Russian-hottie- Dimitri

Russian-hotties-hottie- Rose

Hot-blonde- Lissa

Smoke-on-alcohol- Adrian

Im-not-Christian- Christian

Sassy-non-royal- Mia

_Russian-hottie has signed in_

_Sassy-non-royal has signed in_

Sassy-non-royal- YES! I FINALLY GOT AN ACCOUNT ON THIS DAMN SITE!!!

Russian-hottie- Hi sassy-non-royal…CHEESE!!!

Sassy-non-royal- Erm hi…

Russian-hottie- So who are you…CHEESE!!!

Sassy-non-royal- Um, Mia…

Russian-hottie- Cool, I'm Dimitri in case u didn't know…CHEESE!!!

Sassy-non-royal- Um…your scaring me…BYE!

_Sassy-non-royal has signed out_

Russian-hottie- Bye-bye…CHEESE!!!

_Russian-hotties-hottie has signed in_

Russian-hotties-hottie- Hey baby!!!

Russian-hottie- Yes Roza...CHEESE!!!

Russian-hotties-hottie- Um…are you alright?

Russian-hottie- I need more cheese!...CHEESE!!!

Russian-hotties-hottie- Erm…there's cheese in my room…in my bed…under the covers…wanna come and see???

Russian-hottie- I WANT CHEESE!!!!

Russian-hotties-hottie- Um okay…bye!

_Russian-hotties-hottie has signed out_

_Im-not-Christian has signed in_

Im-not-Christian- Yo Russian Perv

Russian-hottie- Hello you psychopathic freak…CHEESE!!!

Im-no-Christian- WTF?

Russian-hottie- CHEESE!

Im-not-Christian- Stop it…

Russian-hottie- CHEESE!!!

Im-not-Christian- I said stop it…

Russian-hottie- CHEESE, CHEESE, CHEESE!!!

Im-not-Christian- Stop it! Stop it! I didn't do it I'm innocent!!!

Russian-hottie- Didn't do what?

Im-not-Christian- Erm nothing…hey you didn't say cheese!

Russian-hottie- CHEESE!!!

Im-not-Christian- I spoke too soon…

_Im-not-Christian has signed out_

_Hot-blonde has signed in_

Hot-blonde- Hey! Aww Christian left!

Russian-hottie- Don't worry, you still have me…CHEESE!!!

Hot-blonde- Um…whats wrong with u?

Russian-hottie- Nothing…CHEESE!!!

Hot-blonde- Well um good luck with that….bye!

Russian-hottie- Bye…CHEESE!!!

_Hot-blonde has signed out_

_Smoke-on-alcohol has signed in_

Smoke-on-alcohol- Hi everyone!

Russian-hottie- Its only me…CHEESE!!!

Smoke-on-alcohol- Jeesh, what is your problem?

Russian-hottie- I want some CHEESE!!!...CHEESE!!!

Smoke-on-alcohol- AHHH!!! Shut-up already!!!

Russian-hottie- *cries* CHEESE!!!

Smoke-on-alcohol- Dammit, I cant take this anymore!

_Smoke-on-alcohol has signed out_

Russian-hottie- I'm all alone…CHEESE!!!

_The-big-cheese has signed in_

The-big-cheese- You are not alone! Im here!!!

Russian-hottie- The big cheese? CHEESE!!!

The-big-cheese- Yes, and if u stop screaming cheese then I will give you a life supply of it

Russian-hottie- Really?

The-big-cheese- Yes

Russian-hottie- Yay! *cyber kiss*

The-big-cheese- *cyber kisses back* well hurry up then! Meet me at my room!

Russian-hottie- Kay!

_Russian-hottie has signed out_

The-big-cheese- Huh, he doesn't even know where 'my room' is. Oh well. He'll figure out that I'm Queen Tatiana sooner or later…

_The-big-cheese has signed out_

_Russian-hottie has signed in_

Russian-hottie- Wait, where is your room? *reads above text* okay, I'm not so hungry anymore…

_Russian-hottie has signed out_


	12. Cheesehab

**Thanks to 'Vampfangsgirl' who helped me right this chapter!**

**Check out her stories 'Tasha's Child' and 'Pastry Killer.' Trust me their good!**

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Russian-hottie- Dimitri

Russian-hotties-hottie- Rose

Hot-blonde- Lissa

Im-not-Christian- Christian

Smoke-on-alcohol- Adrian

_Smoke-on-alcohol has signed in_

_Russian-hottie has signed in_

_Russian-hotties-hottie has signed in_

_Hot-blonde has signed in_

_Im-not-Christian has signed in_

Russian-hotties-hottie- Hey guys!!! Anyone on?

Hot-blonde- I'm here!

Im-not-Christian- OMG! The schools exclusive slut is on

Russian-hotties-hottie- Shut the hell up Christian

Smoke-on-alcohol- Hey Rosie!

Russian-hotties-hottie- Read the message I wrote to Christian and consider it for yourself as well. *glares at Adrian*

Russian-hottie- Hey everyone, especially my Roza…CHEESE!

Everyone- NOT THIS AGAIN!

Smoke-on-alcohol- Dammit, shut the hell up about your stupid cheese

Russian-hottie- Cheese is not stupid…CHEESE!!!

Hot-blonde- If he doesn't shut up soon I'm going to leave

Im-not-Christian- Me too

Russian-hotties-hottie- As much as it pains me to say this, I'm with u guys on this one

Russian-hottie- OMG!

Hot-blonde- What?

Russian-hottie- I JUST FOUND A PIECE OF CHEESE LYING IN MY BEDROOM CLOSEST!!! …it seems to have gone all green and mouldy though…

Im-not-Christian & Russian-hotties-hottie- Gross!

Smoke-on-alcohol- Okay that's it! I've had enough of your stupid cheese obsession! You are going to…

Hot-blonde- OMG! Lemme guess, lemme guess! He's going to the Pepperoni Pizza Palace isn't he???

Russian-hotties-hottie- The Peperoni Pizza Palace?

Hot-blonde- Only my favourite place in the world! I'm the Peperoni Princess…*dreamy sigh*

Russian-hotties-hottie- Erm…right

Russian-hottie- I get to go to the peperoni pizza palace? Hmm…is their cheese on the pizza?

Smoke-on-alcohol- NO! You are absolutely, not going to that place. You are going too *drum roll* CHEESE-HAB!!!

Russian-hottie- _CHEESE_-HAB????!!!!!

Everyone except for Russian-hottie and Smoke-on-alcohol- What the hell is cheese-hab???

Smoke-on-alcohol- Cheese-hab is rehab for retarded people like Dimitri who are addicted to cheese

Im-not-Christian- that's pretty lame…they actually have a place for people who are addicted to cheese?

Smoke-on-alcohol- Erm no…they don't have a place for people who are addicted to cheese…

Hot-blonde- Okay then…so cheese-hab doesn't exist…

Smoke-on-alcohol- It does! Cheese-hab will be held right here on the MSN chat room!

Russian-hotties-hottie- This aint gonna end well…

Smoke-on-alcohol- So is Dimitri here?

Russian-hottie- Yes…

Smoke-on-alcohol- Okay well Dimitri…this is a carrot…good or bad?

Russian-hotties-hottie- Erm don't you mean a cyber carrot?

Smoke-on-alcohol- Whatever. A cyber carrot then. I really don't care…so Dimitri, good or bad?

Russian-hottie- Bad…

Smoke-on-alcohol- NO! It's good you idiot!

Russian-hottie- Oh…

Im-not-Christian- *whispers* this idea was really lame…

Hot-blonde- I agree…

Smoke-on-alcohol- Keep your damn opinions to yourself!

Im-not-Christian- We were just saying…

Smoke-on-alcohol- Whatever! So Dimitri, this is a chocolate. Good or bad?

Russian-hotties-hottie- Don't you mean a cyber chocolate?

Smoke-on-alcohol- No a real chocolate. I am actually eating a chocolate at the moment Rose, so shut your stupid sluttish mouth

Hot-blonde- OMG! _Adrian_ called Rose a slut. The world I had once known has now changed forever.

Im-not-Christian- Erm…whatever you say…

Smoke-on-alcohol- SHUT UP!!! So Dimitri, good or bad?

Russian-hottie- Um…bad?

Smoke-on-alcohol- NO GOOD! VERY, _VERY_ GOOD! *drools on keyboard*

Everyone except Smoke-on-alcohol- Eww!!!

Smoke-on-alcohol- So Dimitri, this is–

Russian-hottie- –cheddar and mozzarella all mixed together with a sprinkling or brie, and melted parmesan on the side???

Smoke-on-alcohol- Erm yes…how the hell did u know that?

Russian-hottie- I know the ways of the cheese *rubs hands together*

Smoke-on-alcohol- Um…

Hot-blonde- Well I gotta go…

Russian-hotties-hottie- Where?

Hot-blonde- Um...just hangin out…in the church attic…with my bf

Russian-hotties-hottie- Right. 'Hangin out'

Hot-blonde- *blushes*

Im-not-Christian- Well we gotta go. Catch u later, ho

_Hot-blonde has signed out_

_Im-not-Christian has signed out_

_Russian-hottie has signed out_

Smoke-on-alcohol- NO! Your stupid Russian boy-toy can't leave! I haven't cured him yet!!!

Russian-hotties-hottie- Somehow I think he would be better of without your help

Smoke-on-alcohol- Says the ho…AHHH!!!

*few minutes pass*

Smoke-on-alcohol- Stupid…Russian…ugly…retarded….

Russian-hotties-hottie- Whats up with u?

Smoke-on-alcohol- DIMITRI ATTACKED ME AND STOLE MY CHEESE!!!

Russian-hotties-hottie- Oh…

Smoke-on-alcohol- Ugh I gotta go lie down. Seeya

_Smoke-on-alcohol has signed out_

Russian-hottie- Hello Roza. Guess what?

Russian-hotties-hottie- You beat up Adrian?

Russian-hottie- Yes but I am also fully cured of my obsession to cheese

Russian-hotties-hottie- Really?

Russian-hottie- Yes. Turns out that beating up Adrian helped

Russian-hotties-hottie- Cool. Maybe I'll go and beat up Adrian later on

Russian-hottie- Your addicted to cheese as well?

Russian-hottie- Nope, but I think it would be fun to beat the crap outta him


	13. Rose, I am you daughter

Russian-hottie- Dimitri

Russian-hotties-hottie- Rose

Hot-blonde- Lissa

Im-not-Christian- Christian

Smoke-on-alcohol- Adrian

_Russian-hottie has logged in_

_Russian-hotties-hottie has logged on_

_Smoke-on-alcohol has logged on_

Russian-hottie- Roza! You are here!

Russian-hotties-hottie- Dimitri! Your here!

Smoke-on-alcohol- It's...ADRIAN!

Russian-hotties-hottie- Oh god not Adrian! I thought you'd beaten him up, Dimitri?

Russian-hottie- I did

Smoke-on-alcohol- He did. But Lissa healed me.

Russian-hotties-hottie- No! Not again - I've got to speak to that girl. She can't keep doing this - we'll never get rid of him if she does...

Russian-hottie- Agreed.

_Rose-Adriana has logged on_

Rose-Adriana- Howdy you lot!

Russian-hotties-hottie- WTF? Who are you?

Rose-Adriana- I'm Rose-Adriana!

Russian-hotties-hottie- *shudders* never mention my name tacked onto the beginning of the female version of Adrian's name. Ever

Russian-hottie- Agreed

Smoke-on-alcohol- Mention it - it sounds amazing...

Rose-Adriana- Rose I'm your daughter from the future!

Russian-hotties-hottie- WTF?

Russian-hottie- WTF?

Smoke-on-alcohol- Ooooohh...scandalous...hehehe

Russian-hotties-hottie- Shut up Adrian!

Rose-Adriana- Adrian's my father!

*Silence*

Russian-hottie- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Russian-hotties-hottie- Don't worry Dimitri - she's obviously a fraud. I'd never marry Adrian Ivashkov

Smoke-on-alcohol- Aww why not?

Russian-hotties-hottie- Beside the obvious? Well, I don't want to have to survive on vodka for the rest of my life

Russian-hottie- And you'd miss the long nights in bed with me

Russian-hotties-hottie- ... Wait, what long nights in bed?

Russian-hottie- *cough cough* they'll be coming soon Roza...

Russian-hotties-hottie- *sighs dreamily*

Rose-Adriana- Actually they won't be coming. 'Cause you're gonna marry my daddy and have ten babies with him.

*Silence*

Smoke-on-alcohol- OMG? REALLY? LIKE, AHHHHHHH! IT'S A DREAM COME TRUE! *faints*

Russian-hottie & Russian-hotties-hottie- *faints from horror*

Rose-Adriana- Was it something I said?

_Hot-Blonde has logged on_

_Im-not-Christian has logged on_

Hot-Blonde- Hiya guys...wait whys everyone fainted?

Im-not-Christian- Aww...I missed out on seeing Little Miss Tough Novice Chick faint? Dammit...I always miss the good stuff...

Rose-Adriana- Howdy! I'm Rose and Adrian's daughter from the future!

*Silence*

Im-not-Christian- It's official. The world as we know it has ended

Hot-blonde- Can we at least sneak in a quick make out session before the worlds completely gone?

Im-not-Christian- Sure my princess. Sure.

_Im-not-Christian has logged of_

_Hot-blonde has logged of_

Rose-Adriana- Hey guys...I forgot to mention...you marry and have twenty babies, ten named Lissa Jr. and ten named Christian Jr... and Lissa becomes the Queen and Christian is no longer dubbed a strigoi wannabe and Rose is no longer dubbed a blood whore and Dimitri is no longer dubbed a cheese-obsessor and Adrian is no longer dubbed a vodka addict...oh wait he is, sorry...

Rose-Adriana- ...Aww you guys left! Dammit!

Russian-hottie- *wakes up*

Russian-hotties-hottie- *wakes up*

Smoke-on-alcohol- *wakes up*

Russian-hotties-hottie- Aww! You're still here!

Russian-hottie- Noooo!

Smoke-on-alcohol- Ooooooh yeah!

Russian-hotties-hottie- I can't deal with this. You aren't really my daughter - I know that! Leave me alone! I'm leaving!

_Russian-hotties-hottie has logged off_

Russian-hottie- Roza! Wait! I need to...err...show you something in my bedroom closet...

_Russian-hottie has logged off_

Smoke-on-alcohol- So tell me a bit about my future then soon-to-be-daughter of mine!

Rose-Adriana- Sorry. I lied. My names not really Rose Adriana. It's Rose Dimitria. I'm really Dimitri's daughter not yours.

*Pause*

_Rose-Adriana has changed her name to Rose-Dimitria _

Rose-Dimitria- Haha *blows raspberry*

Smoke-on-alcohol- Well this sucks. I'm gonna go drown myself in some vodka to get rid of this hollow empty feeling that is somehow digging a hole into my chest...which is really freaky. I mean is the hollowness really digging into my chest? And if so then why am I not dead yet? You know what? I'm just going to shut up now and get on with drowning myself...you wanna come?

Rose-Dimitria- Nope. I'd love to but I'm years and years in the future so I really can't.

Smoke-on-alcohol- Sucks. Totally sucks. Well by then...I'll be going...

_Smoke-on-alcohol has logged of_

Rose-Dimitria- Hahahaha. I love ruining peoples lives. Ha. I wonder if they'll ever work out that I'm really Mia...haha!

_Rose-Dimitria has logged off_

_

* * *

_

**AN:**

**I hope you enjoyed that! It's been a while since I last posted anything...and I'd seriously considered giving up this fic...but then I got some new ideas so I decided to continue it. **

**Review please!**

**xoxo - Nat**


	14. The Horrors of Songs

_Smoke-on-alcohol has logged on_

_Russian-hottie has logged on_

_Russian-hotties-hottie has logged on_

Russian-hottie- Hello Everyone!

Russian-hotties-hottie- OMG! Hi Dimitri!

Russian-hottie- MY SWEET ROZA! *cyber make-out session*

Russian-hotties-hottie- *giggles* *cyber make-out sessions' back!*

Smoke-on-alcohol- Hey! Oh…*shudders*

Russian-hotties-hottie- *stops cyber making out* Oh God no, it's Adrian.

Russian-hottie- Go away Adrian – leave us alone

Smoke-on-alcohol- AM I ALL ALONE? AM I ALL ALONE?

Russian-hotties-hottie- Adrian what the hell are you going on about?

Smoke-on-alcohol- IS ANYBODY OUT THERE HEREING MY SONG?

Russian-hottie- Roza…what on earth is that idiot saying?

Russian-hotties-hottie- I don't know…I just hope he isn't really singing. St. Vladimir's doesn't need any broken windows.

Smoke-on-alcohol- IS ANYBODY HOME? IS ANYBODY HOME?

Russian-hotties-hottie & Russian-hottie- SHUT THE HELL UP ADRIAN!

Smoke-on-alcohol- Alright. Sorry about that – I seem to be a bit song-happy today. Whenever someone mentions a word slightly related to a song I can't help but start to sing!"

Russian-hotties-hottie- Great…just great…

_Im-not-christian has logged in_

_Hot-blonde has logged in_

Hot-blonde- Hi guys!

Im-not-christian- Hey. Lissa and I just got back from the church attic

Russian-hotties-hottie- I hope you had lots of fun

Hot-blonde- Oh we did!

Russian-hotties-hottie- That was sarcasm

Im-not-Christian- *suck, suck, suck. Lick, lick, lick*

Russian-hottie- Christian! What on earth are you doing?

Russian-hotties-hottie- Gross guys! Not in the chat room!

Im-not-Christian- Stop overreacting. I'm having a popsicle.

Smoke-on-alcohol- YOU KNOW I LOVE IT!

Russian-hotties-hottie- Oh god not again

Hot-blonde- Wait...what does he love? Christian eating popsicles?

Smoke-on-alcohol- YOU KNOW I WANT IT!

Im-not-Christian- Fuck of Ivashkov. You aren't getting my popsicle!

Smoke-on-alcohol- SO COME AND GIVE IT TO ME!

Im-not-Christian- I SAID NO!

Russian-hotties-hottie- ALL OF YOU SHUT UP! Adrian, I will personally stake you if you don't shut the hell up. Christian, don't pay any attention to Adrian, he's just being an idiot.

Im-not-Christian- No change from the usual then.

Hot-blonde- Hey Rose - wonder what happened to that chick who came on last time...your future daughter...

Smoke-on-alcohol- I WANT A DAUGHTER WHILE I'M STILL YOUNG!

Everyone but Adrian- SHUT THE HELL UP!

Russian-hotties-hottie- This is sooooooooooo annoying. I think me head will explode if I have to listen to this any longer.

Russian-hottie- Noooooo! Not your head! It's too beautiful...

Smoke-on-alcohol- CAUSE YOUR SO BEAUTIFUL! SO DAMN BEAUTIFUL!

Everyone- SHUT THE HELL UP!

Russian-hotties-hottie- Oh God...my head actually is exploding...oh god...noooo! My head!

Smoke-on-alcohol- IN MY HEAD! I SEE YOU ALL OVER ME!

Russian-hotties-hottie- Oh God...the images...their killing me...

Smoke-on-alcohol- IN MY HEAD! YOU FUFILL MY FANTASIES!

Russian-hottie- WHAT ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT MY PRECIOUS ROZA?

Russian-hotties-hottie- *sobs*

Im-not-Christian- *whispers* I think he broke her...

Smoke-on-alcohol- IN MY HEAD! YOU'LL BE SCREAMING OOOOH!

Russian-hotties-hottie- PLEASE STOP! PLEASE! PLEASE! I CAN'T TAKE THIS AGONY ANY LONGER! OH GOD...

_Russian-hotties-hottie has logged off._

Russian-hottie- ROZA!

_Russian-hottie has logged off_

*Silence*

Im-not-Christian- God Ivashkov, you really did break her.

Hot-blonde- Adrian why did you do that? You realise I can't heal mental problems right?

Im-not-Christian- Ehh...she was already insane anyway.

Hot-blonde- CHRISTIAN!

Im-not-Christian- Well it's true...she _was _seeing ghosts not too long ago...

Smoke-on-alcohol- EVERYWHERE I GO I SEE YOUR GHOST!

Im-not-Christian- Well that can't be healthy...

Smoke-on-alcohol- WHEN I GO TO SLEEP I SEE YOUR GHOST!

Im-not-Christian- And when I go to sleep I see your face...in my nightmares.

Hot-blonde- *giggles*

Im-not-Christian- Hey Lissa, do you wanna ditch this place and hang out in our favourite spot?

Hot-blonde- The church attic?

Im-not-Christian- Of course.

_Hot blonde has logged off_

_Im-not-Christian has logged off_

Smoke-on-alcohol- Bye guys!

_Smoke-on-alcohol has logged off._

_

* * *

_

**AN:**

**Songs used in this fic were:**

**Alone – Claude Kelly**

**Popsicle – Aren B**

**The Suburbs – Arcade Fire**

**Beautiful – Akon**

**In My Head – Jason Derulo**

**Ghost – Claude Kelly**

**I hope you enjoyed this. It's been a while since I last updated...**

**...Wow. It's hard to think that this was the first story I ever wrote for fanfiction and that I started it two years ago. It's shocking really...I still remember planning some of the chapters with my friends at lunch times...**

**Anyways, review please!**

**XOXO - Nat**


End file.
